Never fly United

Did I mention that I never intended to fly United airlines to Europe? United has among other things lost my luggage for a week on a flight that I never took. But that is another story.

When searching for tickets for this trip, other airlines took priority and I was pleased when the lowest fare found was with Lufthansa. This was not due to wonderful past experience with Lufthansa. It was just that, having never flown Lufthansa, they have never had the opportunity to provide bad service to me. They still don’t.

Only after purchasing the tickets did it become clear that my flights weren’t just code-shares with United but were, in fact, operated by United. To their credit, the fine United personnel at Dulles managed to overcome the computer system flaws and actually get me into the seat section I had paid for on the trip to Paris. The United staff in Paris not only couldn’t overcome those flaws; they had no particular desire to do so. The check-in agent said there was no other option but said she would ask the gate agent to find a better seat if possible.

The flight was boarding by the time customs and security were cleared. There was just a moment to politely ask the gate agent if she was able to find a better seat while mentioning the mix-up with the upgrade. Much to my surprise she said there were plenty of upgraded seats available if only I had bothered to buy one and began to berate and blame me for the problems. She continued to do so as I walked down the ramp to the plane. Her behavior is still stunning and incomprehensible to me.

And so it was that I spent the return flight in the middle seat in a row of five. I’m not a vindictive man and certainly do not wish the designers and approvers of five-across seating eternal damnation. No, I only wish upon them a lifetime of sitting in that middle seat and with the seat in front fully reclined. Oh, and maybe the strong urge to go to the restroom while trapped there.

There was a short period of small hope. One of the seats next to me appeared to be unoccupied. But then the man sitting on the aisle generously traded seats so that an avoirdupois couple could sit next to each other. And next to me. But I must say in fairness that my four seat mates were good traveling companions as we all endured our cramped spaces. And I must also say that the passengers in the next section, having raised the armrests in the unoccupied seats, were sleeping quite well.

The flight eventually ended with the usual get in a line, wait, then get in the next line and wait. It was good to be home and wonderful to be with Deborah again. There was one piece of unfinished business. As Deborah says, “Don’t these people understand that you’re retired and have the time to act on complaints?” The letter to Glenn Tilton, CEO of United, is already in the mail. There is a tiny chance he’ll provide some United employees with more reasons to dislike him. Effective or not, it always feels good to write and send off an oh-so-polite and reasonable complaint letter. And with the letter sent and this blog posted, it’s now time to move on.